The Last of Us
by Tragedy of Melpomene
Summary: Noel knew he shouldn't have laughed. But he did and now he was screwed. It was all Snow's fault too.


It would be bad for his health if he laughed. Noel had to keep telling himself that as he stared at the three women in front of him, each practically daring him to see what would happen if he actually did.

Lightning was facing the counter, carving a chicken with a meat cleaver that was wickedly sharp and looking at him from the corner of her eye. He could swear that she was twisting it just so that the light above her head would catch on the flat of the blade making it look all the more menacing. Serah was standing in front of him, hands on her hips and eyebrow raised dangerously high, most likely ready to pounce if he so much as opening his mouth. And Yuel…Yuel was stabbing the food in front of her onto her fork with a viciousness he didn't know she had in her, blatantly glaring at him as she ripped into her food like some sort of feral creature.

Behind them, he could see Snow and Hope standing in the doorway to the living room desperately signaling that terrible things would happen if he laughed. Snow looked terrified and was waving his arms frantically and Hope was slashing his hand through the air as if to tell him to shut up. Both their eyes flitted between the three women before landing back on him. His self-preservation instinct was rearing its head and sending off blaring alarms now. He'd known both men for several centuries and they weren't easily scared.

But consequences be damned, he couldn't hold it in anymore. He pointed at Yuel and busted out laughing.

"The…the last one indeed!" And then all hell broke loose.

Yuel dropped her fork and screamed. She jumped out of her chair and tried to vault over the table to strangle him, though Lightning had dropped the meat cleaver in time and managed to wrap her arms around the younger girl's waist so she could stop her. But there was no one to stop Serah as she punched him right in the face, knocking him to the ground. A part of him wondered when the heck Lightning and Serah had switched dominant personality traits, but it was a small part. The rest of him was still laughing through the pain in his face though that quickly cut off with a gasp as Serah dropped on top of him and dug her knees into his stomach.

Vaguely he could hear Yuel yelling at him as Lightning dragged her away, but he was too focused on Serah and trying to avoid being further maimed by the tiny pinkette.

"Damn it Noel, we warned you! We told you explicitly not to laugh at her!" She raised her hand as if to hit him again so he raised him arms in his defense.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry!" In all honesty, it wasn't even that funny. It was just so completely ridiculous that he couldn't have helped but laugh.

She sighed and allowed her arm to drop down to her side. Noel waited a moment before slowly lowering his arms as well, though he did run his fingers over his cheek and winced. That was going to leave a nice bruise. They sat there for a moment, just staring at each other. Tilting his head a bit to the side, Noel could see that Hope and Snow had moved from the doorway to the living room and were now standing in the kitchen shaking their heads at him. Serah stared at him for a moment longer, completely ignoring the two men behind her, before finally getting up and walking right past Hope and Snow and quickly ascending the stairs, following Lightning and Yuel.

Wincing to himself, Noel gave Snow a grateful grin when the blond behemoth offered out his hand to help him up. Not only was he going to have a nice bruise on his face, his stomach was also going to be sore for a while. After getting up, he turned to Hope.

"Is she really that sensitive about it? I've never known Yuel to react like that before."

And it was true. Noel had known Yuel for the entirety of her last incarnation. He had grown up hearing stories from Caius about the other incarnations that had existed throughout the ages and in not one of the stories, did she ever lose her temper in such a way.

Hope just shook his head. "For thousands of years, of which she can still remember all of it mind you, she'd looked a certain way. Now she looks in the mirror and gets a shock every time that what she is expecting isn't being reflected back at her. Of course she's going to be a bit sensitive about it." Here he paused and leveled a glare at him that he just had to have learned from Lightning. "Not to mention you just had to go and compare her to those Last Ones that Lightning fought. Where the hell did that joke come from anyways?"

Almost unwillingly, his eyes trailed over to Snow and Hope's gaze followed his.

"Really Snow?" He just shook his head again. "You had better pray to whatever non existent deity exists in this world that Light and Serah never find out you were the one who originally made that joke. Otherwise, you're going to join Noel on their 'To Kill' list."

"But where the heck did that temper come from?" Noel was still confused. Yeah, the joke was way out of character, none of them were completely the same as they were before, but that coupled with the aesthetic change was just unsettling for the former hunter.

Snow was the one that shrugged this time though. "I've known the Farron's since I was a kid. I was always in the same class as Lightning. The women in that family are known for two things: their tempers and their pink hair. Yuel is a Farron now and the universe apparently thought that they couldn't have a Farron girl without those traits."

Noel knew that intimately. He'd been beaten by both of the elder sisters before for one thing or another. To think that sweet Yuel was now part of them… he closed his eyes. It was official. He was screwed.

* * *

Word Count: 1,055

This is parody for a reason people. I know, I know, I should have worked on A Loyal Steed or something, but this just couldn't wait.

For those who are unsure, I'll state it plainly. When they were reborn, Yuel ended up as Serah and Lightning's youngest sister and she has inherited the trademark pink hair of the Farron sisters in this new life. It was a plot bunny born of a personal head cannon which I will flesh out later and a joke I heard about how Noel would react if Caius had been a troll and when he had given up the final Yuel, she was pink. Since I imagine, despite a likely rocky start that Noel and Snow must have been good friends at some point, he likely would have shared a stupid joke like this with him and Noel, being the lovable idiot he is, blurted it out without censure when he actually saw his childhood friend with pink hair.

Yes, I know, my mind is a strange place. But a few people seem to enjoy it anyways, so I'm just going to keep rolling with it.

As always, edited by me and yes, I know I stink it. But seriously, drop a review if you find any errors you feel the need to point out. I'm always willing to try and clean these up a bit more!


End file.
